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No Valentine? Treat Yourself

“Baba God, since last World Cup till now and still no Valentine. Shehu and Mariam posting cakes on instagram , do they have two heads?”

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Valentine period can be stressful for the single folks who get to see all sorts of romantic pictures and posts all over social media throughout this period. Some these people (I can neither deny nor confirm that I belong in this category) get to have many funny thoughts like “Baba God, since last World Cup till now and still no Valentine. Shehu and Mariam posting cakes on instagram, do they have two heads?”

It can even be worse because some people would legit call you and ask annoying questions like “hey, my man got me those Fendi shoes we saw on KadaMall and the Chanel perfume I have always wanted.” He is the best, so what did you do for Valentine?” or “Na so Aisha carry Pounded Yam come block me for office and she say NBA 2K18 disc for house, so how your day go?” Then you start to lie that you were purging all day before you change the topic to Wenger, Buhari, and the fuel situation of the country or how hot the weather is.

No Valentine? Treat yourself. Why would you wallow in valentine pain when you can treat yourself? Please, my sister, use that money you want to use to buy singlet and boxers for your val to go to a proper restaurant and eat very well like you just escaped from Kirikiri.

You can even cut cost and cook by yourself and invite fellow single folks like myself to come and chill for a proper hangout. I am not playing. Text me so we can link up and have a blast. I promise not to come empty handed and I have more jokes than a broke man trying to toast a slay queen

Treat yourself, try something new,  go to that Spa and get a massage, a manicure, pedicure, etc. (One man reading this just spat in disgust, you don’t know what you’re missing, sir). But if you’re not willing to try something new, you can stick to something that you really enjoy. Play FIFA, go to the cinemas and watch Black Panther (shey KD Cinemas go don dey show am like this?). If they don’t have it on their schedule watch whatever they are showing, watch shows on your computer (if you no get, go borrow from your friend wey dey go on date), watch Big Brother.

Finally, this is almost exclusively for the young Kings and the few Queens that are not disgusted by football. Champions League Football is back and there is a firecracker of a game ready for the evening. Whatever you do during the day, you should not watch the highlights of this game on YouTube. (E go be like Breaking Bad plus Game of Thrones, see eez gonna be a deadly day because borrufdem are gonna wanna die on the line.)

Whatever happens on Valentine’s Day, bae or no bae, please try to do something for the less privileged individuals out there. Let the love flow around as much as possible, and treat yourself.